May 2013
85 posts
roughrimjob:
I feel really shitty and useless but at the same time I’m still perfect and better than anyone
japan-o-phile:
when your master calls you his kitten
lameborghini:
*sends u nudes but just as a friend*
eating dictionaries: IT’S SO COOL TO LOOK AT... →
nuditea:
IT’S SO COOL TO LOOK AT STRETCH MARKS AND REALISE THAT THEY ARE SIGNS OF YOUR BODY EASING OUT TO ACCOMMODATE YOU! YOUR INNER BITS WERE LIKE “HEY WE NEED MORE” AND YOUR OUTER BITS WERE LIKE “OK IT’LL TAKE SOME HASTY BACKSTAGE-BEFORE-THE-PREMIERE STITCHING BUT WE CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN” AND YOU ARE…
bedussey:
hello there
angle from my nightmare
the shadow in the background of the slope
the unsuspecting vertex
of darkness in the y plane
we can live like sines and tangents if you want
p0ndorica:
p0ndorica:
sometimes i see dudes on the internet like “ya i have a 10 inch dick” and then i eat a 6 inch subway sandwich and im looking at this sandwich and its like..idk how almost double that would be a good thing my vagina winces at the thought
it was 4am and i compared a penis to a sandwich
“There are 7 billion people on this planet who I have not met,
and 195 countries...”
– Unknown (via garcode)
sexhaver:
boredlord:
What do teens like?!? Is it memes? Memes about skeletons? Piss? Communism?
this post is 20x funnier if you imagine a CEO shouting it at his board of directors
uoa:
do you ever tell people you’ll be going to sleep but then you don’t and you have to not do anything noticable online for the sake of it seeming as if you didn’t lie to them
niallhortonhearsawho:
a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
